


Donald Trump x Joe Biden - This love isn't a lie...

by oumaihara



Category: IRL - Fandom, Presidential Elections, Real life - Fandom, USA - Fandom
Genre: Boy x boy, Didn't say no homo...., Donald Trump x Joe Biden - Freeform, Gay, Homo, Homosexual Males, JSNSKSJ SORRY, Joe Biden - Freeform, Joke Fic, M/M, President, Presidential Election, Trump, Trump x Biden - Freeform, donald trump - Freeform, full homo, jokefic, male x male
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oumaihara/pseuds/oumaihara
Relationships: Joe Biden x Donald Trump
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1 - Such a Sudden Confession

Biden was nervous, fiddling with his fingers and adjusting his face mask. Why had Trump called him out so late? The time was 21:24, Trump had informed Biden he'd be visiting his office, though he was to come at around 21:32. Biden decided to wait there early to have some time to compose and prepare himself. He was thinking of all the different possibilities. To attack him? Imprison him? Persuade him to drop out of being the next president before the the presidential elections? There could've been so many reasons but the one it truly happened to be was something he least expected...

~~

"You- I- What?" Biden was confused upon hearing the words of the other man.

Trump sighed. "I said I love you. In um uhh.... a romantic way." He furrowed his eyes or not. "That's all there is to it, what do you mean 'You- I? What-' it's simple. I. Like. You." He sat down across from Biden in his chair. "Want me to say it in other languages? Aishiteru.* Te amo.* Je t'aime.* How many times do I have to say it to you?"

"No... That's just... Not what I expected." Biden adjusted his tie. "And I didn't think you were bold enough to test out such an obvious lie on me. I'm not going to drop out of the presidential election. Final." He looked sternly at Trump and the room fell silent as Trump stared in shock, "Now, is there any other reason you called me out here? Or may I leave." Biden was about to stand up but Trump spoke up.

"I-It's not a lie..." He pouted. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Well we're rivals for one. We definitely can't get together. And I don't feel that way about you and aren't you homophobic?" Biden sighed.

Trump frowned. "Oh but I truly do love you, Joe <3\. And That was just a lie, of course! I'll be gay if it's for you,,," 

"Call me Biden."

"Right, Biden <3" Trump corrected himself. "W-Well anyways, I suppose I'll just have to get you to love me! Even if it takes so long as to after the presidential debates!" Trump pondered. I wonder how I'll get Joe to love me, well... it can't be impossible, he thought to himself, excited for the following days after of trying to get Biden to love him.

Biden couldn't take Trump seriously. "No thank you, I don't want you pestering me. I'll be busy when I'm president."

Trump pulled down Biden's mask and kissed him on the cheek before leaving. "I'm still going to be president though I love you, and make sure to visit me tomorrow at my office, honey! <33" And with that he ran out of the door.

"What an unusual guy..." Biden rubbed his cheek, taking the marks of the kiss off before standing up to wash his cheek at the sink near him. "I'm sure he's homophobic. And he hates me." He sighed. "Jeez, the ideas some people go to for power... truly bizzare."

~~  
It was late at night, around 01:24 as Biden rolled over for the 5th time in the last hour already. He couldn't sleep. He was thinking about Trump's words. "Isn't he so homophobic this should make him sick even faking. Maybe it's geniue-" He stopped himself. "Of course not... But anyhow, maybe he's developed a tolerance by now?" Biden was so awfuly lost at this. His actual rival had confessed to him, and he couldn't tell whether it was a lie or not. 

That thought stayed in his mind for many of the following days. Trump didn't visit again for a few days, though Biden just thought he was busy, being a president candidate and all, so Biden left it and eventually forgot that it was himself who was to visit the other. 

Soon later, on the news it mentioned Trump seemind down and and he instantly remembered. "Oh my I was to visit Trump yesterday, I must've forgot..." Biden facepalmed. "Better late than ever..." Biden thought as he swung on his jacket and left the building...

~~  
Biden had reached the cafe, though it was a day late he felt like he should still go just in case. To his suprise, Trump was there. It seemed he had actually decided to come again just in case Biden came the next day.

"Biden~ !" Trump called out to him.

Biden frowned. Why did I decide to come, again, he thought, I could've just not come... "H-Hey..."

"You know I've been super down! I really thought you wouldn't come." He rolled his eyes. "Jee, you got confessed to by someone as great as me yet you decided to miss our date!" He yelled. 

"Date??" Biden wasn't sure he heard Trump correct.

"I- Jo-"

"Biden." Biden corrected.

"Biden," Trump cleared his throat. "Yes, this is a date. Did you not read the note I gave you?" And with that he teached into his coat pockets. "Oh... I must've forgotten to give it to you... No matter!" He sighed but when he looked up Biden was walking swiftly away.

Nope nope nope nope nope; I am NOT going on a date with an orange, Biden thought to himself, reluctant that he'd even decided to show up but Trump spotted him in time.

"Biden~! Stop running away..." He frowned and held hands with Biden.

Biden shuddered and pulled his hand away. "No thank you. And please refrain from touching me." Joe Biden glared at Trump. And gosh will he ever wear a mask?? And he says he cares about this country's health... Biden sighed. "Well I'll be on my way."

"Wahhh... I'm coming sith you then! You keep rejecting me you're soooo mean!" He exclaimed.

"Gosh, just do not. Leave me alone." Biden was so close to snapping. He didn't enjoy the other man's company.

"How about a no! I'm not leaving your side until you agree to go on a proper date with me!" Trump whined.

Pissbaby... Biden scowled at Trump as he thought that. "I will never go on a date with you, Trump."

"Oh? Just wait and see~ You'll love me one day! I won't give up!" He grinned before yawning and checking his phone. "Oh, something annoying came up. See you." He sighed and walked out of his office.

"Yeah... Bye." Biden replied, relieved Trump left him. "Now that I think of it... Doesn't Trump have a wife?" He pondered, exiting the building.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Phonecall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's the fact that people are actually reading this for me bye this was just a joke for myself 😭😭

It was 4AM and Biden was having troubles sleeping. He was sure to have a busy day later, which he should probably get some rest for, but he just didn't feel tired enough to actually fall asleep. He had one particular thing, or should I say person, on his mind: Donald Trump. He recalled seeing the news talk about how Melania and Trump were "made-to-be" and a "lovely marriage". This just made Biden more frustrated; he couldn't figure out if Trump was playing with him or geniunely confessing, as in cheating on Melania. Truthfully, Biden had taken an attraction to the other man, he wondered what it would be like with him. "A power couple, we'd be!" Biden imagined that Trump would say something like that. Actually, he didn't want to think about being with Trump anymore though; he did not want Trump to cheat on Melania, and because he doesn't love Trump back. If Trump said that he'd say "yet" at the end, not giving up. 

~~

The time was now 6AM and Trump yawned and jumped out of his bed, full of energy. Unlike Biden, he had gotten a long, pleasant sleep. He stood up and leaned on his window. "Ah~, I wonder what Biden's doing right now..." He grinned. "Well, I'll just call hi-" He stared at his contacts for a second before looking melancholic . "I... I forgot that I don't have Biden's number..." He sighed and frowned. "I'll ask him next time I see him then. I should get ready for the day now then..." As he said, he put on his suit and left his room, going to his office to begin work. 

As Trump sat at his computer he wondered if he could find Biden's email online, or just ask someone he knows if they know Biden's email/number, which indeed they did. Trump got a hold of Biden's number and called it soon later.

"Joe Biden here?" Biden said as he answered the phone. 

"Hi Joe~" Trump smiled. "How are you?"

Biden sighed. "How did you get my number? I didn't give it to you..." 

"I have my ways! Like if I planned an assassination I wouldn't tell you either, would I?" 

"Eh? W-Why would you compare it to something like that..." Trump's remark quite frightened Biden as he went to somewhere he felt actually safe to escape the fear of actually being assassinated.

"Well it is like that! If I had a plan to get your phone number and if I had a plan to assassinate you I wouldn't tell you either of my plans! Plus I couldn't find you around your office so I couldn't ask myself." Well, that was a lie. He knew that Biden wasn't in his office though, since when he called there it was answered by someone else rather than himself.

'Way to go Trump, even if you're joking now I'm actually worried.' Biden thought and sighed. "That... is right. I'm taking... care of something right now, so I'm not in my office, of course."

"Oo! What is it?"

"W... Why would I tell you anyways?"

"Because I love you and you finally love me back and trust me?"

"I dont have time for your current unrequited love. You're already married, Trump, grow up." Biden replied harshly.

"Aw! Biden is so blunt, jee..." Trump answered, ignoring the 'You're already married'.

"And you still are into me?" Biden asked.

"Yes! Of course~! I don't mind you being blunt, it's quite attractive, Well you are veeery attractive, Biden~"

Biden shuddered. "Don't... Don't call my name like that, Trump."

"Why?"

"Just don't." Biden answered firmly.

"Ugh, fine." Trump pouted. "How rude. I'm putting into words my love for you and you don't even reject properly; You're just being rude..."

"Let me repeat what I said if you didn't hear me somehow," Biden cleared his throat. "Trump, you are a MARRIED man. This counts as cheating, and I just BET you haven't even thought of telling your wife about this."

"Well... Of course not! She'd get sooo mad."

"She'd be even more mad if it turns into more than a crush." 

"W-Well..." Trump thought about it. "That's... That is true..." He sighed. "I-I'll tell her eventually. Only if you finally like me back then I'll tell her!" 

"Face it, that's not going to happen..." Well actually, it just might, depending on when Biden can accept how he feels rather than straight-out rejecting him.

"I won't give up hope! There's always a chance!"

"Not with this there isn't." Biden rolled his eyes and Trump could tell through the phone.

"I'll get you to love me eventually, just you wait!" 

"I'd like to see you try- Actually no, give up already."

"No, thank you!"

"I mean, I didn't expect my words to really affect your love anyways, it's not that easy, is it?"

Trump didn't speak for a while before saying something. "Honestly I'd get rid of these feeling if I could, they can be a bother, but when I think of you I just can't bring myself to..."

Biden didn't know what to say. "I- You- ..." *BEEP* Biden hung up. He was anxious of saying the wrong thing so thought it was better to not say anything at all in the end.

~~

"WAH~ Biden hung up on me!" Trump cried after noticing. "Ugh, how can I get him to fall for me? Should I win the elections would he like me more? Is it power he's after? I can give him that if I win!" Trump frowned. "I don't get why he won't love me back..." His eyes fell upon an image of himself and Melania and flopped onto his bed. "R...Right... There's that too..." And just as he mumbled that a loud knock was heard on his door making Trump let out a high 'EEK-'. 

"President Trump, are you there?" A worker asked. 

"Y-Yes..." Trump fixed his suit and opened the door. "What is it?"

"There's two things... First of all, you have piles of work awaiting you. And secondly, Biden is winning the elections so far... That's a big problem for you..."

Trump's eyes widened. "What?" Was the only word he could choke out as he stared in shock. 'I- I was sure I'd win again... I don't want to stop being America's President... Not yet..." Trump sighed. "I...I'll go do my work now..." 

He walked off, leaving the worker where they were standing, their face showing signs of worry. 

"I wonder if President Trump is okay... Well I hope not honestly~." The worker gave an evil grin. "He doesn't deserve to be President, honestly, he's doing such a bad job... I can't wait to stop serving him. He should honestly just get up COVID and drop dead. I wonder how Melania even copes with him honestly, he's such an annoying baby." They sighed and went back to their usual day pretending as i they hadn't just out-loud betrayed whomst they were acting so worried and loyal to a few minutes ago...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont reread my works so if something doesnt make sense to you.... 😫😫 that's why <33

**Author's Note:**

> This is a joke please,, but yeah I'll be updating when I can !! I'm kind of busy with school and all so if I take a while please understand! I'll only take a week or two off if I am going on break or forgetting to update, if I don't come out with a new one by then, then I've probably given up on this but I hope not to! I do not hold any desire to quit this project now <33 anyways bye im done typing with proper grammar that was so painful and my back hurts.... oh right i need to write the key for the languages of i love you byeebashdjudhs *grammar mode on*
> 
> Okay so, as you expect... Trump did not pronounce the other languages very well <333 Also the first one is Japanese (Aishiteru), second one is Spanish (Te amo), and the last one is french (Je t'aime.) Those are like the only languages I know how to say I love you in that isn't english I believe...
> 
> Mwuah I'll continue this soon ig 😙😙


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